Bunny Blog

Every Sunday, I watch a bad movie.  At first it just sort of worked out that way (what a way to end the week!) and now I do it on purpose.  Some of these movies are fun-bad, and some are just atrocious, but there’s always something of value in every bad movie, even if it’s just the hangover, so it is your good luck, dear reader, that I shall be sharing my findings with you! Thanks to the holiday weekend, Bad Movie Monday starts on a Tuesday.  Get over it.

We begin Bad Movie Monday with a little gem called Superstarlet AD. Made in the far flung year 2000 and distributed by Troma, which is usually not a great sign, the movie is certainly better than Babylon AD, or 10,000 BC, both of which probably cost approximately their budgets minus fifty bucks more than Superstarlet AD.

You can watch this “trailer,” but really it will only tell you two things: this movie was actually shot on film, and the filmmakers have a pretty decent sense of humor and strangeness.

If Robert Heinlein dropped acid and stumbled into Victoria’s Secret, he might have come up with something like Superstarlet AD.  <movie voice>In a world where men have all reverted to Neanderthals and women live your standard post-apocalyptic lives except that they run in gangs segregated by hair color (presumably because everyone is white, and you have to discriminate based on something!), one Blonde dares to search for the Burlesque video her Grandma shot back in the 1950s.</movie voice>  Oh yeah, did I tell you this movie, shot in 2000, takes place in the farflung year 2000?!?  The important point here is that clothing is in short supply, but lingerie is plentiful!  So all the women walk around in lingerie, toting machine guns, occasionally killing Neanderthals and sometimes each other.

It is also important to note that this film, where everyone discriminates against each other based on hair color is shot in black and white.

Some people dye their hair, we meet a recently un-cryo-frozen woman who still has lots of clothes to her name (the Philip J. Fry of Superstarlet AD) and a Neanderthal seeks revenge for his murdered brother.  Up until the end, I hated this Neanderthal subplot, but then he looks at the camera and screams “BLOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNDDDDEEE!!!” and all was forgiven.

Ultimately the movie is a sort of glorious mess.  It’s only 67 minutes long, and interspersed with the utter madness are moments of real actual worth.  Some shots that are downright artistic, and there’s the occasional flash of brilliance in the dialogue.  How can you not want to watch a movie whose opening monologue contains the line “lipstick and ammo were in short supply”?

BAD-BAD <———————–X——–> FUN-BAD

Burlesque numbers: 2

Gigantic holes in the ground that must actually exist because this production couldn’t afford the VFX: 1

Drinking requirement to enjoy: None

Batshit Crazy?  Jan Svankmeyer’s Alice <—X—————————-> The Blind Side

Available on: DVD, and Netflix Instant!