Bunny Blog

New Rose Hotel was recommended to me by a friend as “the worst movie I’ve ever seen.”  Now I know he was not kidding.  A movie featuring Willem Dafoe, Christopher Walken and Asia Argento based on a William Gibson story should not be this unwatchable.  Christopher Walken spends a lot of time dancing around, presumably because the director was too passed out from drug abuse to stop him.  Asia Argento sings a lot, which is the audio equivalent of saying that John Goodman has a lot of nude scenes.  All of this happens and yet nobody in the room could tell much of what was going on or why, and not even in the delightful drug haze way that Babylon AD achieves.  In fact, it was so bad that a group of people committed to watching a bad movie had to turn it off and switch to Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead.

Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead combines the worst elements of Saw with no elements of Joy Ride (a film I highly recommend) to create a film where a deranged trucker tortures people with no apparent motive.  We do learn that Rusty Nail, the mystery trucker from the first movie, has a pretty nice house on a palatial country estate, and that there is literally nothing that could happen to the young rapscallions in his path that could incite them to call the cops.  It’s possible the movie takes place in an alternate reality where there are no police, but if that’s the case, there was a more interesting film to be made about that world.

JOY RIDE 2: DEAD AHEAD

BAD-BAD <——————X–———–> FUN-BAD

Number of characters (out of 4) that you actively want to die: 2

Gratuitous topless dudes: 1

Gratuitous topless girls: 2

Gratuitous topless girls who are corpses: 1

Appropriate nicknames for the male lead: Choting Tainsley, Tannum Chatbot, Chase’em Shirtless

In case you would like to buy a coffee mug with the New Rose Hotel poster on it, go here!